A woman was sitting in church and not getting much out of the worship service. She was not inspired by the music. The message was not reaching her. She was fuming and thinking about all the things she did not like about the service that morning. She was counting the minutes until she could leave and go do something productive. As she was going through the parking lot to her car, she saw a friend sitting in a car and crying her eyes out. She was concerned and asked the friend what was wrong. The friend told her “I was really moved by the worship service this morning. That was exactly what I needed to hear.”
It’s not all about me
That’s when the woman was convicted that worship is not all about her. When worship was not moving her, she should assume that it is moving someone. God is using the service to speak to someone else. The music and message were not an accident that morning. She should spend time praying for the other people in the service. She should pray that whoever needs the message that morning would receive it. She should focus on the people around her and not on herself.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, entitlement is the belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges. Because we have lost our reverence and awe of God (that’s a topic for another blog), it is easy for us to fall into a sense of entitlement in the church. Worship becomes all about me and what I get out of it instead of focusing on the holy and righteous God that I am there to worship. We become entitled in service. We’ll do God a favor and spend a few hours helping people that we like as long as we are not too inconvenienced. We become entitled in giving. I’ll throw a little in the offering plate as long as I can still buy all the things that I want.
I don’t like (fill in the blank.)
Unfortunately, this sense of entitlement seems to be rampant in the church today. I have certainly been guilty of it. I have spent my share of time in a worship service wishing I was somewhere else. It never crossed my mind to pray for the others around me. I was just focused on what I wanted.
I hear so many conversations in the church that start with “I don’t like” followed by either something that is happening in the church or the actions of a fellow believer. I have served many years on the ruling bodies for different churches. A significant amount of time in those meetings was devoted to who is mad about what or mad at whom and what are we going to do about it? That takes time and energy away from discerning God’s will for the church and praying for the strength and courage to be obedient to that discernment. It saps the strength of the leaders of the church. I was on a church council that invested two meetings in arguing about the new paint color for the fellowship hall, green or blue? How was God served by two months of arguing over paint color?
I recently had someone tell me that “I don’t like the changes that are happening in my church.” When did it become their church and not the church of Jesus Christ?
Entitlement leads to conflict
This entitlement leads to much of the conflict in today’s churches. When we focus on ourselves and the perceived thwarting of our desires by others, it becomes very easy to engage in behavior that is detrimental to ourselves and our fellow believers. A church filled with conflict is a terrible witness to the world. When people come into a church filled with arguing and fighting, they think, “I don’t need to come here to find people to fight with. I already have that in my family or work.” Christianity is supposed to be about love but the nastiness of our infighting shows anything but that. No wonder we get labeled as hypocrites.
Conversations show the health of a church
An indicator of the spiritual health of a church is the conversations that occur among the members. At the worst is gossiping about other members to tear down and cause divisions within the church. In an unhealthy church, people are huddled together in quiet conversations because they are gossiping about other members and don’t want to be overheard. In a healthy church, people are huddled together in quiet conversations because they are sharing intimate spiritual details about their lives and supporting each other.
As members of a church grow in their love of God and obedience to God, the conversations in the church change. We move from social conversations that could be had in any gathering to deeper conversations on spiritual matters that can only be held with another disciple of Jesus. We share real concerns and hurts with each other. We earnestly pray for the individual needs of each other. We move from superficial knowledge of each other into a deeper, more intimate knowledge. We actually love each other, not just give “lip service” to the idea of loving each other. We become a church following these admonitions from God. So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (MSG)
Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Romans 12:9 (NLT)
Remove the entitlement attitude – Be the church that God intends
As we repent and ask God to remove our sense of entitlement, we enable our church to become as Paul described in Colossians.
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. Colossians 3:12-17 (NLT)
We need to examine our life in the church against these verses.
• Does my life exhibit tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience?
• Do I make allowances for another’s faults?
• Do I forgive anyone who offends me?
• Am I always thankful?
• Does the message about Christ fill my life?
• Does my behavior represent Jesus Christ?
• Do the words from my mouth represent Jesus Christ?
As a church, we need to examine ourselves against these verses.
• Are we clothed with love?
• Are we bound together in perfect harmony?
• Do we live together in peace?
• Do we teach and counsel each other?
• Do we sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts?
Imagine as a first-time visitor coming into a church that had the characteristics described in Colossians 3:12-17. You would sense the genuine love and concern that the members had for each other. You would sense that there is something different about this place. You would want to be part of it.
If you are concerned about the growth and future of your church, I encourage you to start by looking at your own sense of entitlement and as a body examine how you treat each other.
I have found the following two videos very helpful in opening our eyes to the entitlement we feel in worship:
https://www.floodgateproductions.com/index.php/the-gift-of-worship.html
https://www.floodgateproductions.com/index.php/i-surrender.html
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. I welcome any comments.
Larry
Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004,2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene Petersen, 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.